The Funniest Thing Ever (Sunnyvale Trailer Park Edition)

I’m going to tie Nietzsche and Trailer Park Boys together, ready for this?

Friedrich Nietzsche said, Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter.” Jack Handey from Saturday Night Live once said, Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.”

Funny is funny. Soap is to the body what laughter is for the soul. My entire life has been not only devoted to making myself and others laugh… but in fact, is a joke in itself.  Comedy became like medicine to me the moment I saw Blazing Saddles as a kid. In the 25 years since then I’ve seen what I consider to be a treasure trove of frakin funny. So when my good friend Evan told me to “check out” The Trailer Park Boys, I took it to heart. After all, the man had only 9 months ago introduced my to Kenny Vs Spenny, and my life was changed forever.

“What is Kenny Vs Spenny” you ask? Well I’ll tell you. It’s the funniest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Until my good friend Evan said “check out” The Trailer Park Boys. Kenny is a maniacal, sarcastic, borderline sociopath who lives to drive his roommate, and competitor, Spenny, to the edge of madness- and beyond… Spenny is a sympathetic, emotional, and extremely sensitive person… a chump. The premise of the series is that each episode is a competition that they hold (such as “Who can sit on a cow the longest,” or “First one to be mean loses”), and whoever loses has to perform a “humiliation.” This might sound like something inane, however, this proves to be one of the best premises ever thought up by two guys. If you have a chance, you can catch episodes of Kenny vs Spenny on Showcases’s site, including the iconic “Who Can Smoke More Weed?” episode.  (I was having trouble with Showcase’s stream, but I have watched many episodes here on shocase.ca) You can also catch Kenny Vs. Spenny on Netflix.

Alas, the real reason why I’ve started this ramble is to tell you about Trailer Park Boys. Over 15 years ago, Mike Clattenburg made One Last Shot, a documentary-style comedy about two small time crooks named Julian and Ricky. Robb Wells and John Paul Tremblay starred in this Nova Scotia-based comedy that was the basis for the series Trailer Park Boys. Basically, it’s a mockumentary that follows Julian (Wells), Ricky (Tremblay), and Bubbles (Mike Smith) in their day-to-day lives. It might not sound like much on the surface, but dive in, and there’s one of the guiltiest pleasures you’ll ever laugh hysterically to.

Bubbles and "Shitrock"

You see, Julian is a hardcore, small-time crook who is never seen (I repeat NEVER SEEN) without a rum and coke in his hand. He spends Christmas stealing presents out of trunks, and the rest of the year trying to (usually) sell pot. Where does he get the pot? Well that’s where Ricky comes in. Ricky is a 30 year-old guy with a daughter who lives with her mom in a trailer nearby, and who sleeps in his car. Many classic slapstick moments involve Ricky’s post-barbecue (or any meal) clean up, when Ricky usually leaves appliances and food spread all over the roof and hood of his car… Ricky grabs the nearest hockey stick and sweeps everything off the side of the car onto the ground, then gets in and drives away. Finally there’s Bubbles, a guy who lives with his 20+ cats in a shed next to Julian’s trailer. Bubbles wears huge, Coke-bottle glasses and Mike Smith gives him the funniest growling voice. Oh and keep in mind we’re set in Sunnyvale Trailer Park, in Nova Scotia, where the accents alone are enough to send you into giggle fits the way these guys deliver them.

So the boys are always scamming get-rich-quick schemes, usually involving a large amount of marijuana, and the seasons are more often than not set up like so: Ricky and Julian get out of prison, get a good start with living a simple life, then get mixed up in all kinds of illegal activities, and by the end of each season… [NOT SO SPOILER ALERT]  they end up back in jail again… All because of the exploits of one Mr. Jim Lahey, trailer park supervisor, and his cheeseburger-addicted male lover Randy (who never wears a shirt). You see, Mr Lahey is a drunk, and John Dunsworth does one of the best drunk impressions I’ve ever seen.

Mr. Lahey and Randy stumble and bumble through their “policing” of the neighborhood like a modern day Cluseau of the trailer park. More often than not a gunfight will break out for usually no reason, and Ricky is always the one catching all the lead. Even once from his 6 year old daughter who later called him on the telephone:

“Hello? Oh hi Trinity. No don’t worry, daddy’s gettin the bullet taken ooot right now… Wait a minute, Trinity why are you talking so funny? Ah man, Goddamnit Trinity, well don’t drink any more ok?” Click.

It’s jokes like this, and brilliant acting from the solid cast, that really propels Trailer Park Boys into the heights of comedy as I see it. It’s not the highest-brow, and it will never win any awards, but where else can you get Sebastian Bach from Skid Row to drop the F bomb in front of a bunch of kids at a model train show, then lose it… only to later be smoking in the parking lot with the Boys? Where else can you get Ricky and his estranged wife Lucy driving off on drunkenly romantic “bang trips” behind the (enter abandoned business or warehouse name here). Or the likes of the resident park rapper, J-Rock? The whitest white-boy (named Jamie) of them all underneath… whose skills by the end of the series actually skyrocket!

There’s enough stuff in the 7 seasons and 3 movies made to keep you laughing for weeks. It got us through the long winter, and I offer it to you to spice up your summer life. Trailer Park Boys is available on Netflix Streaming, all seasons of it. It’s also available at Showcases’s website here (again, if the link is acting up, I apologize ahead of time and I don’t know what is up with it if it doesn’t work for you, sorry! 🙂  )

What are the Bees Telling Us? (a review)

Do you eat honey as an alternative to sweeteners? Did you know that the bees that produce that honey are given a steady diet of high-fructose corn syrup? Try and run from the cold hard truth of this warm and delightful movie, Queen of the Sun: What Are the Bees Telling Us?, and you won’t make it far. The truth is that the mono-cropping practices of large farms in America have caused over 5 million bee colonies to disappear. We rely on bees to pollinate our crops. It’s as simple as that. I don’t know about you, but only having oatmeal and bread for the rest of time (because the price of fruits and vegetables skyrocketed due to massive crop shortages, and even losses) does not sound healthy. Queen of the Sun is a documentary that takes an alternative look at a topic that most people are downright afraid of… bees.

read more>>

From my desk at Eugene Daily News

Toomb’s New Releases for Friday 4/22

Whew, well hello Eugene! I’m recuperating from the laugh-tacular Doug Benson show last night, so I apologize for the late release… but there’s really not much going on in the theaters this Easter weekend. Hollywood is on autopilot in anticipation of Fast and the Furious Five next Friday, and the official summer movie season starts the weekend after with Thor.
There IS an amazing documentary at the Bijou this weekend called Queen of the Sun, I personally believe… Read More »

‘4orgy of Violence’ as I Take a STAB at Scre4m

Scream 4 Brings Fun Back to a Genre

scream4poster.jpgDoes the latest installment of the iconic Scream franchise live up to the hype? Toomb takes a stab at Wes Craven’s latest horror reboot.

Apr 20 2011 | Posted in Columns,Latest | Read More »

Tragedy At Sea, Andromeda’s View SINKS

ELISIAN GATES- 237 people died today, and the death toll is rising, as the maiden voyage of Wright Lines’ experimental flagship Andromeda’s View I, ended in tragedy. The pride and joy of the billionaire Dr Joseph Wright, who also perished in the explosion, the Andromeda’s View was the first of the brand new “hub-jumper” class ship- able to navigate the galaxy’s most notable sights along its 14-day cruise by jumping from point-to-point along the way.

The ship was conceived and built by Wright, who had previously built an entertainment empire with his cruise line, Wright Lines. One of seven ships, the Andromeda’s sister ships have been dry docked in lieu of an investigation into the accident.

From all accounts, the flight was completely without incident up to the point when for unknown reasons, the Andromeda burst into space. Lifeboats were not deployed, and for all accounts this was a surprise… leading investigators to look toward total jump-systems failure.

No comment has come from the FTSB as of yet, however a statement from Wright Lines was issued stating:

In light of this terrible accident involving the Andromeda’s View I, Wright Lines extends its sympathy to those affected by the tragedy. An investigation has begun in cooperation with FTSB officials, and hopefully and explanation for this loss will allow for some closure. 

We send our deepest condolenses to the Wright family as well, Dr Joseph Wright was the father of modern space leisure, as well as three beautiful children, and loving wife Arloa.”

A fund has been started for the families of those lost in the tragedy at Elisian Gates at the Bank of New America.

X3: A Universe, Open For Business

There is another galaxy (not so far, far away…) just waiting out there and I bet you didn’t even know it existed. I’m serious, it’s a universe where each planet is linked through a system of jump gates that allow instantaneous travel. In this galaxy live 5 different species, each with their own history and culture that has survived for thousands of years. The best part is, the galaxy is open for business.

When you first boot up a new game of X3:Reunion or X3: Terran Conflict, you have a choice whether you want to be a certain type of character. Let’s say a Teladi trader, or an Argon pilot, it’s up to you- and each pick has a certain amount of either $ or power (a bigger ship to start). From there the universe is yours. Either way you start the game, you’re going to be unknown in the galaxy… Especially in the sectors outside whichever you call home. Sometimes run ins with other races can be downright explosive, so it’s advisable to listen to any patrolling police officers or military presence you might hear hailing you when u jump into a new sector.

Map of Sectors

The thing about the X- Universe games, is that they are open for you to explore any avenue of the games basic point- money=power. Whether you decide to join up and fight the good fight, blasting away squadrons of pirates and ancient alien invaders known as The Ka’hK… Or decide to spend your time hunting down some of the many floating goodies in space- X3 has got all the epic space gameplay you can handle.

Save up cash early and buy yourself a freighter, begin to make some trade runs, get to know the galaxy. X3 has a fully-realized economy, where factors influence locally and universe-wide. There’s always a station or a mine that needs supplies and it’s up to you to find the best deals to buy, and where to sell those goods for prifitssss. Or there’s the less subtle route, hire some mercs to ride a suicide-mission in a shaky troop-transport long enough to board and capture a bigger ship, then hire more mercs and repeat.

Whatever tickles your space-flight fancy. As time goes on and you rake in the cash, you can buy bigger ships, huge TL tankers with compressed cargo-bays that allow for more freight. They also let you buy your own mines, solar-power plants, food processing stations, equipment docks, the works. You can even purchase special custom complex construction kits that allow you to hook stations together in order to minimize the amount of secondary resources it requires. It’s possible to build your own self-sustaining weapons factory, for instance, or if you really want to make money- and don’t mind attracting shady characters- then a space weed plant is for you! Or an equally profitable Space Fuel Distillery!

Any way you cut it, X3’s open economy and diverse universe is fun, fast, and dangerous. Join up with the military and fight the war against a new threat- the Xenon horde. X3: Reunion, X3: Xtended X3: Terran Conflict, and now at long last X3: Xtended Terran Conflict… Designed, written, built, coded, and animated by fans for the fans. I played the MOD of X3: Reunion, it added new story lines, new bad guys, and a whole lot of fun! This time the saints behind the last one have bled, sweat, and teared- to bring us X3:XTC 1.1, the best iteration of the X3 universe yet… and it’s completely done off the books! By a coolest group of people around- the mod team.

I’ve been flying the unfriendly skies of the latest installment, and so far (even though no story-mode levels are included yet, have to wait for the 2.0 update) so good. The universe is complex, new, and this time: ever-expanding. The plot takes place several years after the last game, in a new portion of space known as The Expansion Territory. Linked through the recently rediscovered Aldrin system, the expansion territory is huge, adding over 100+ new sectors as time progresses in the game. Also revamped this time is the ever-important Galactic News Service, which is now used to update the player on the progression of the expansion, the skirmishes in the galaxy, pirate hunts, and if you get neat enough ships, your name in print! Seriously thought, XTC is amazing so far. The artwork is brilliant, the music re-scored, each of the hundred plus sectors with a complete backstory and history. These guys have been busting their hump… and have put out a superior beta. I cannot wait for the official “game” release, to see how it all ties together in this ever-expanding galaxy.

Find your copy of any X3 game, and you will be addicted in no time. It’s a very different game than any I’ve played, sometimes a lot of the game can be waiting, programming, waiting for huge space battles to finish (if you’re a fleet commander like me, with eyes on taking over the known universe), and of course: making money. Thank you Egosoft for such an interesting universe to explore, and bless the mod team for making it the beautiful galaxy it is today. Until then, it’s your fleet versus mine.

From my Desk at EDN

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How Danny McBride and James Franco Saved The Princess (and the Movie Business)

What do you get when you cross an evil sorcerer, a beautiful princess, a brave warrior, and a truck-load of special herbs? One of the greatest medieval adventures of recent times, that’s what. …

Apr 19 2011 / Read More » /

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Toomb’s New Blu Rays (and DVDs)

Matt Toomb takes a look at today’s new DVD and Blu Ray releases.…

Apr 19 2011 / Read More » /

HBO’s Foray into Fantasy Off to a Solid Start With ‘Game of Thrones’

When you think of good adult fantasy, well… (I probably just lost half the readers) In all seriousness, what is there? Name a truly epic adult fantasy (on either film or television) that has tried to take itself seriously, and succeeded? Even the Lord of the Rings movies aren’t “cool” to like anymore, and they made more money than Avatar. There are plenty of good fantasy stories, but when it comes to adapting them and making them work, Hollywood has been gun-shy.

So when i first heard of HBO’s plans to adapt a multiple-book epic that takes place in a medieval-type world where swords and barbarians fight in ancient kingdoms… I knew it would be good. I heard of it three or four years ago, and have been an avid HBO fan. I began watching back when shows like the Sopranos and The Wire were just getting started… Oz had been changing the face of television for years, and HBO on it’s own ushered in a new age of serious, dramatic, adult entertainment on television. So a medieval fantasy epic? Oh hell yes.

Four years or so later, and Sunday night was the premiere episode of Game of Thrones. ‘Winter is Coming’ begins the story of what has been jokingly called, The Sopranos in Middle Earth. Sean Bean (Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring), Lena Headey (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles), and Mark Addy (The Full Monty) are just a few of the HUGE cast of characters that populate this world.

Let me stress the importance of that word in this context… world. The world is set in the fictional, large, South America–sized continent, with an ancient history stretching back twelve thousand years. The seasons last for years in this strange place, and as the title of the pilot episode would have us now, ‘Winter is Coming.’

The product value of this saga is feature-film worthy, the effects amazing. I haven’t seen anything this large since HBOs Rome… One of the best things ever put to film. The first episode picks up in the middle of a crisis. The king of the land is under threat from many sides, and the main character, Lord Eddard “Ned” Stark must leave his wintery home land for the capital city. Meanwhile trouble brews to the north, where an ancient ice wall guards a terrible secret. There is swordplay, feasts, elegant costumes, and superb special effects. There is also a level of class that HBO brings to all of it’s productions, and they haven’t missed a beat. This series is bound to be one the greatest achievements for fantasy fans.

Plus the recent news that Ron Howard is making Stephen Kings epic The Dark Tower series over a span of three movies and three seasons of a television show… Well it’s just proof that special effects have caught up to the level where studios can make quality, adult entertainment for enough to still turn a profit. I can’t expressed the level of excitement I have for The Dark Tower… (It is the greatest epic fantasy story written in the past 50 years.) Bravo to HBO, to Ron Howard, and to those of us who’ve known these stories are out there… And the special effects guys.. Game of Thrones‘ first episode is brilliant, I can’t wait to see more.

Oh and check out one of the greatest opening sequences ever made. Everything about this series is extremely well done so far.

HEADLINE FROM THE ‘NORTHERNTRIBUNE.EIN’- PAGE 7F :

The USE Southern Star is Nowhere in the Known Galaxy.

USE Southern Star

Experimental boat, the USE Southern Star, was launched 6 weeks ago, and had been to sea for just over a month when she disappeared from all nets. She was the first ship to be built by Ashwater Corp, the eponymous company owned by the governors of Filtair Prime. The last of the Ashwater clan, Markus Ashwater is still in preparations for handing over the governorship to the newly-elected replacement body.

“The experimental nature of the Southern Star includes net-jamming technology that in effect cloaks a craft from sensors, appearing only on visual nets- which are only short-range.” Says an inside source at Ashwater, who chose not to reveal themselves as they are mentioning more than they are contractually allowed.

The source claims the Southern Star is the modern version of the ancient submarines, which could navigate the Earth’s waters through the use of sonar. Before net-sensors where deployed to map the reachable. If so, this boat could pose a leap forward in space technology.

UPDATE: Officials from Ashwater Corp responded with this quote: The USE Southern Star lunched 6 weeks ago in the capital Sector of Filtair Prime. Her maiden course took her out past the Broken Hub, to the mines of Sector 231 on a routine patrol. A month into her voyage, the Southern Star experienced catastrophic navigational problems that required a physical firmware and hardware upgrade. A tug boat was dispatched to dock with the Star and she is currently in dry dock. Re-Christening and a re-launch will occur in the coming weeks. As to reports of the craft’s experimental nature, they are highly exaggerated. The Southern Star does have a ground-breaking new net-deployment technology; however any references to net-jamming or cloaking are completely fictional.